My Mental Health Part 14 – Stop Tagging Our Lives With Anxiety Or Other MHI!

Let’s talk about my specialist mental health subject – anxiety. I have mentioned before that I don’t like using the word ‘hate.’ I think it is too strong a word to use to describe pretty much anything, especially a person, unless of course it is used to describe someone that has done something despicable. I am fortunate I don’t know anyone who has done such a thing, and I hope I never will!

But I hate anxiety. I hate how it made me feel when I was suffering after my accident. It was the worst, yes, the worst, feeling that I have ever had, and I have had to deal with a lot of different emotions in my life, including losing those very, very close to me. But that is how bad anxiety affected me – a horrible, horrible condition, and a feeling I will never forget!

Even now I hate what it still does to me, even if on a much lesser scale, and I have also spoken about that scale. 0-10, whereby 0 is normal and life is good, and 10 is debilitating anxiety, and I can’t do anything with my day-to-day life!

It is floating about at the minute around the 3 mark, but it is still there. Assuming it is because, according to research, I am going through 1 of the 3 most stressful things we can supposedly go through in life. I am not getting married, and I am not getting divorced, so I will let you work it out. I am impatient at the best of times, so you can imagine if you have not worked it out, moving house is a pain staking experience. But then we are not just moving out of town; we are moving out of the county and technically the country, so undeniably that makes the whole situation worse!

The trouble is I can’t remember feeling like this 8 years ago when we last moved, but then I gave up trying to figure out anxiety long before that. It comes and goes for no real reason. I am looking forward to the move; sure, I will miss a couple of things when I move on. I will miss our local micro-pub social scene with good friends, and I will miss cycling with my buddies at times and putting the world to rights, but as much as I keep thinking about it, that is the only things I believe I will miss, and not good enough reasons to stay. We have an adventure and a change of life to go on; we want to try something different before we are too old!

I didn’t have these things when I moved here 8 years ago, and I won’t have them where we are going, but there is no reason why we can’t have similar over again, just with different people and scenery. But would you believe that is not my reason for writing, that is in the title?

But please remember one main thing here: I have been diagnosed with anxiety. I have been through the problems it causes, and I know what it is like to suffer with the horrible condition that I hate. I have been on courses to help deal with the condition and spoken with therapists. I am a trained mental health first aider, and therefore I feel I am reasonably experienced on the subject and allowed to give opinions on the condition. I will never tell anyone I am an expert, as that is one thing I will never be where anxiety is concerned, experienced but no expert!

The strangest thing is I have spoken about diversions and distractions to keep your mind occupied, and to help, I like nothing better than playing games on my mobile, mahjong being one of my favourites, strategy and against the clock at times, depending on which version you play, and certainly keeping my mind occupied.

So why was it this morning, whilst playing this game, my anxiety flicked on like a light switch? Still at a low level, but I felt it switch on; one second it was not there, the next it was, and I could physically feel the difference with that horrible feeling deep down inside, and in the nearly 14 years I have had this condition, that has never happened to me before!

I couldn’t understand it at all, and it concerned me. I told my wife, and her reply was great: 'Then switch it back off,' she said. If only it were that easy, I would do it every time, and anxiety wouldn’t be part of my life – ever! If only we had one of those switches, wouldn’t life be great?

But as I start writing this, we are in Cirencester visiting relatives, and I had to take a photo of this vehicle because on first seeing it, what does it look like it is advertising? Yes, obviously ‘school anxiety’, is this another type of anxiety we are giving a tag, title or label to? But let’s clear this up straight away, as we need to look at the small print, because that states, ‘helping children recover and get back to school.’ How positive is that? Because that can only help young people, and well done to them.

Advertising a new mental health condition, ‘school anxiety?' No - helping young children deal with the new condition that is ‘school anxiety'.

But before I go any further, did I have ‘school anxiety’ because I didn’t like going to school? In fact, I was picked on and bullied, mainly because I was good at sports and I always had a girlfriend. Many guys the same age and older couldn’t say the same on one of these subjects, let alone both at the same time. I was the school's athletics champion for two years running at 15 & 16 years old and at a decent-sized school too.

I represented the South of Scotland U16s at 7-a-side rugby, and the way the selection process worked, I was one game away from playing for the Scottish team at Twickenham, but for a twist of fate, I didn’t quite make it. But what with that and my girlfriends, it was enough to make other guys jealous, and I suffered for it at school, but I still had to go!

I have already asked if ‘is this another type of anxiety we are giving a tag, title or label to?’ Because I think we do this too often without really thinking about it. ‘Anxiety’ seems to be a convenient word to use when someone gets concerned, worried or maybe afraid, but you can’t get diagnosed with any of those, and people wouldn’t feel sorry for you if you said this to them.

But use the word 'anxiety,' and everything changes, because anxiety is a mental health condition, and that makes everyone look at you differently. Instead of being worried about something, you suddenly have a mental health condition – well, sorry, but anxiety is being used far too often these days when it shouldn’t be.

Friends of ours are close friends with a schoolteacher, and here are a couple of their stories, which I believe I may have covered in a previous chapter but which need repeating in this post.

A teenage girl had to be taught at home because she had ‘school anxiety’ and couldn’t go to school, yet she was able to dress up and go to the school prom. I would have to ask what the difference is. Mixing with the same people and going to the same building, but one was to learn and take lessons, and the other occasion was to dress up and have fun. Being of the older generation, I don’t get this at all.

If she didn’t like school so much and she couldn’t go, surely she wouldn’t go for any reason. Worse than this is her parents' thinking it is okay for both to happen, the home schooling and letting her go to the prom. Again, my generation and many my age believe it is just a reason to get schooled at home, with no hassle getting her to school and picking her up and no fear of anything happening to her when she is out of the house. I don’t know the facts, but however you flower this up, that is how it looks to many!

Or how about the young lad who was also schooled at home, which meant during exam time, two invigilators had to be at his house to ensure all went okay, all of course at the taxpayer's expense. And during the exam his dad came into the room and told them the exam had to stop as his son was too stressed. How did his dad know, and why didn’t he make the decision beforehand to save us all some (public) money? Surely an assessment of the young lads' mental state should have been carried out beforehand, but again, what are all the facts? I am only commenting on how things look!

According to research and previous experiences, there are (or were) 9 major forms of anxiety, these being:

1.    Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD): Chronic, excessive, and unrealistic worry about everyday things such as health, money, or work that lasts for six months or more, often accompanied by physical tension and fatigue.

2.    Panic Disorder: Sudden, unexpected, and repeated bouts of intense terror or impending doom or panic attack, paired with racing hearts, dizziness, or shortness of breath

3.    Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia): Intense fear, anxiety, and avoidance of social or public performance situations due to the fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated.

4.    Agoraphobia: An overwhelming fear of being in open, crowded, or trapped spaces, such as public transport or being outside alone, where escape might feel difficult if a panic attack strikes.

5.    Specific Phobias: An irrational, intense, and lasting fear of a specific object, animal, or situation, such as heights, flying, needles, or spiders, that leads to avoidance behaviour.

6.    Separation Anxiety Disorder: Excessive distress and worry about being separated from home or from people or pets, with whom the person shares a deep emotional attachment.

7.    Substance-Induced Anxiety Disorder: Anxiety symptoms that develop directly during or soon after substance intoxication, withdrawal, or exposure to a medication/toxin.

8.    Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Long-term anxiety, flashbacks, hypervigilance, and nightmares triggered after experiencing or witnessing a severe, life-threatening, or traumatic event.

9.    Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): Persistent, intrusive, distressing thoughts, or obsessions, that drive a person to perform repetitive physical or mental rituals to ease the anxiety

I get these, as I have been involved in discussions during various occasions relating to them. I was diagnosed with PTSD, which I even questioned, as I struggled to believe it had happened. But falling with my bike, being knocked unconscious and having bleeding on the brain, leading to the onset of anxiety, is, according to professionals, PTSD. I can’t really argue, can I?

1, 2 & 3 are quite easily understood and I may suffer from a little part of each of those, and I do have a small amount of OCD but not distressing thoughts. My repetitive laughable rituals include having the notes in my wallet all facing the same way, the patterns on my socks always facing out the way, and all my clothes in my wardrobe that are hanging, facing to the right. So, I get a lot of these subjects, and some of them affect me!

But we are now talking school anxiety, and all other forms. How about Battery anxiety, often called nomophobia the fear of being without a mobile device, or charge anxiety, that is a widespread form of modern stress caused by the fear of a dying or dead phone battery – really?

Refuel anxiety. The stress of using a petrol station it affects 62% of Gen Z drivers aged 18–24 compared to 39% of UK drivers overall. But add to this:

Common Causes of Refuel Anxiety:

1.    Fear of public mistakes: Worrying about parking too far from the pump, holding up queues, or looking foolish.

2.    Operational confusion: Unfamiliarity with nozzle mechanisms, opening fuel caps, or choosing the correct grade of fuel.

3.    Economic strain: High fuel costs and inflation triggering feelings of helplessness.

4.    Sensory and hygiene concerns: Discomfort with dirty nozzles, strong odours, or busy forecourts.

Typical Behaviours:

5.    Delaying refills: About 50% of anxious drivers let their fuel tanks drop dangerously low to avoid stopping.

6.    Running out: Roughly 25% of affected drivers have actually run out of petrol on the road.

7.    Delegating the task: Over two-thirds of Gen Z drivers ask a partner, friend, or family member to fill up the car for them

There’s more:

Shopping anxiety is an overwhelming feeling of panic, stress, or avoidance brought on by sensory overload, crowds, decision fatigue, or financial worry in retail spaces. So shop online!

Anxiety during house buying is a common and normal reaction driven by heavy financial commitments, complex legal steps, and major life changes. Don’t move house!

Anxiety about being pregnant or going through pregnancy is common, affecting up to 80% of individuals in mild forms and clinical anxiety or severe fears like tokophobia, in many others. (Tokophobia is an extreme, pathological fear of pregnancy and childbirth) simple solution – don’t have children?

And there we go, many thanks to Google and Yahoo, for their help with the research on this subject.

But tags as I will call them and again instead of getting nervous or having concerns that my phone may run out of battery, we have battery anxiety or charge anxiety?

And again, I need to look at this with a different perspective, remember asking if I had ‘school anxiety?’ In today’s world I’m sure I did have, because in my old world, I didn’t want to go to school, but I had no choice, and as I grew up it hasn’t done me any harm. If anything it made me stronger, promising never to be bullied again as I grew into an adult. But let’s tag something with ‘anxiety’ and again we have a mental health condition, and that makes people sit up and take note.

I don’t like using petrol stations. So, I have ‘refuel anxiety’ well don’t drive a car, cycle or catch a bus or a tax insteadi, but then we would have ‘public transport anxiety’ or similar.

Sorry but stop using the word ‘anxiety’ when it is not there. It is the same when Gary Neville, or other sports commentators and pundits tell us that ‘the players are anxious’ or ‘you can feel the anxiety in the stadium,’ no they are not and no you can’t. To get the full story read ‘My Mental Health Story Part 5 - Lets Sidetrack To Football.’

But I believe we need to stop tagging our life with anxiety or maybe other mental health conditions, because to me it makes us look like we are after sympathy and help, because we think ‘shopping anxiety’ will make more people sit up and take note of us. It may be that we don’t like doing something, but it doesn’t mean we have a mental health condition when we don’t want to do it, or don’t like it, and to me it is that simple!

Let’s go back to the young girl who couldn’t go to school. What are we teaching her about the future and the workplace? Will she live her life at home on benefits and never go out, but go night clubbing on a Saturday night. Because to me that is how I see it. I wasn’t wrapped up in cotton wool, I was made to get on with life, and it didn’t do me any harm. It was falling off a bike in Wales that started my mental health problems, and changed my life, not the bullying or being picked on!

Thanks for reading

DJ